I held Emma

5/22/2008

Well I did it. I faced my fear once again. The thought of holding her made me get all teary eyed. I went into the other room so no one would see me if I cried. First thought came to my head " I wish I was holding my baby" I actually thought for a moment or two that I was betraying my baby. But I had to say to myself, STOP IT. I was really good and I am really proud of myself. I am getting better in time. I cant help staring at pregnant women. I dont cry over it anymore. I get sad for a moment but I continue on about my day. Improvement people!!! I still get mad at times because of my body. Its a reminder everyday. I am working on it but my body just seems to not want to lose the weight. I am doing 45-50 mins of cardio 4-5 days a week and weight trainning. I started running last week. Jeff and I got some running shoes last weekend. I think we are going to go running on the weekends together.