2nd Internal

I am now 1 cm dilated and still 50% effaced. She did some stretching/massaging and now I am all crampy. I am so happy to be working from home because I am just miserable. Next week if I am 2 cm, she will strip my membranes and she said I should have her within 24 hours if she is ready. If she is not ready then nothing will happen. So... lets hope next week, we will have a baby in our arms. I am still terrified about the how experience of giving birth but what can I do. I am just so unhappy that I dont care anymore. A couple of people have mentioned that once I am in labor, I will say... what was I thinking. I know exacting what I was thinking......... I want my body back and lets get to recovery.